Ministerial Musings: “Refuse to Sign” By The Rev. John Tamilio III

In the spirit of pushing the envelope and tackling controversial issues (which I am wont to do), I want to elucidate a national campaign that was birthed in Tremont.

Earlier this year, the church I serve (Pilgrim Congregational United Church of Christ) decided that our clergy would no longer sign state-issued marriage licenses, nor would we allow them to be signed on our property.  To us, this is a pertinent social justice issue.  Because same-gender couples are not allowed to get married in Ohio (and many other states), we feel that as officers of the state — which clergy essentially are when they sign that piece of paper — we are complying with a blatant injustice.

But it goes further than that.

Marriage is one of those institutions that blurs the demarcation between church and state.  Marriage is, among other things, an ecclesial term.  When clergy sign licenses they are allowing the state to define doctrine; they are permitting the state to determine who can and cannot be married — who can and cannot receive the rights and obligations of a church rite.

We believe that there needs to be a healthy separation between church and state.  If it were up to me, this is how marriage would work.

Any two consenting adults (a woman and a man, two men, or two women) would be granted a civil union by the state.  Essentially, you and your fiancé/fiancée would go to a courthouse or the local town hall and a state official (such as a justice of the peace) would grant you a civil union.

Then, you would take that “license” to your church, synagogue, mosque, or temple and it would be up to your clergy person to decide if he/she was going to bless that civil union and call it a marriage or not.  If a faith community (such as the Roman Catholic Church or the Southern Baptist Convention) chooses not to recognize same-gender marriages it has every right to do so.  Because churches are private institutions, they have a right to discriminate (for lack of a better word).  The state should not legislate religious doctrines.  Likewise, a church that chooses not to recognize same-gender marriage has no right to impose their beliefs onto another church or to have those beliefs legislated at the local, state, or federal levels.

Complicating this problem is the fact that some states recognize same-gender marriages whereas others do not.  You cannot have a unified, federal republic where the rights of some couples are recognized in one state, but not in another.  In terms of property, taxation, inheritance, insurance, custody, and the like, this will eventually lead to a breakdown in the system.

We have started a ripple that we pray turns into a tidal wave that washes from coast to coast.  We are asking clergy of all faith traditions to consider adopting similar policies and practices in their faith communities.  Lay people can get involved too.  For more information, visit us on-line at www.refusetosign.org.