MINISTERIAL MUSINGS: "Love Thy Neighbor"

Stop.  Take a moment to read Ephesians 4:25-5:2.

Did you read it?  Read it again.  I read it in preparation for the August 9th worship service at Pilgrim Congregational United Church of Christ (the congregation I serve in the Tremont neighborhood) as it was the Revised Common Lectionary Epistle lesson for that day.  At least I thought I read it.  Something happened later that day that made me realize that I should have read it a bit closer.  At least I should have done a better job taking the text to heart.

Several weeks ago, my next door neighbor and I had a bit of a tiff.  The “what happened” and “why” of our row doesn’t matter for the purpose of this article.  Who was to blame?  In hindsight I think we both were, but that doesn’t really matter either.  Suffice it to say, I felt as if I was in the right.  Therefore, I bore a bit of a grudge against my neighbor.  I did not talk to him.  I avoided eye contact.  Of course I did not do anything to hurt him.  I just pretended that he didn’t exist.

Back to Sunday night.

I was sitting on my front porch having preached my sermon that morning on Ephesians — a sermon that was well-received by my parishioners.  I was feeling good.  My wife and I were sharing a bottle of chardonnay.  Our three kids were running through the sprinkler on our front lawn to beat the heat.

Just then, my neighbor walked across the front lawn and asked if I would come over to his porch when I had a moment.  I followed him home immediately.  He talked about how he heard a sermon in his church that morning on the same passage from Ephesians and it hit him hard.  He had been troubled by our falling-out and his pastor’s words about “telling one’s neighbor the truth” reverberated with his faith.

He is a Christian.  I am his neighbor and brother-in-Christ.  There should be no animosity between us.  We should resolve our differences.  We should not “let the sun go down on our anger.”

We made amends.  The conversation ended with our shaking hands and being amiable to one another.

I went home realizing that I had just heard a much better sermon than the one I preached that morning.  Here was my neighbor: not a preacher or a theologian, but a person who understood the meaning of that day’s Epistle lesson much better than this tenured pastor did.

I also realized that my bearing a grudge and acting the way I did was not only unChristian, but it did nothing to resolve our differences or to bring life and healing to our relationship.  The homily I delivered that morning was entitled “Words to Live By,” but apparently I wasn’t living by the Word.

I am humbled and ashamed.  I am also grateful that my neighbor lived his faith much better than I did.

Thank you for the sermon, neighbor.  Thank you for embodying Jesus’ command to “love one’s neighbor as oneself” much better than I did.  You can be sure that I will live by your lesson.

The Rev. John Tamilio III is the religion columnist for the Lakewood Observer and the Senior Pastor of Pilgrim Congregational United Church of Christ in Tremont.  He and his wife Susan live in Lakewood, Ohio with their three children.